Do You Have to Get Cleaned Up to Take a Bath?

One of the first worship songs that I was introduced to is called "You Are Still Holy" and it is on Rita Springer's "Created to Worship" CD. 

The lyrics are:

"Holy, You are still holy,
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes
Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection of Your love

CHORUS:
And so I come into Your chambers
And I dance at Your feet Lord
You are my saviour, and I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up to now
It all belongs to You
You are still holy

Holy, You are still holy
Even though I don't understand Your ways
Sovereign You are still sovereign
Even when my circumstances don't change
Lord I don't deserve Your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion to You

CHORUS:
And so I come into Your chambers
And I dance at Your feet Lord
You are my saviour, and I'm at Your mercy.
All that has been in my life up to now
It all just belongs to You
We all just belong to You"

I first heard this song nearly 10 years ago....Ugh...Makes me feel so old!  But amazingly, the lyrics and what they mean to me have not changed.

It is amazing to me that we can enter in to His chambers at any time and share anything with Him.  What an amazing sacrifice that Jesus made!  

We can come before Him, no matter where life has tossed and turned us, and still cry out to Him and be restored in His presence.  There are no requirements...No prerequisites.  Just show up because He desires you and knows you.

During my time as an intern at the St. Louis Dream Center, I spent a lot of time doing street ministry.  It was probably the thing that scared me the most because I honestly did not know how to approach people and just talk to them.  But, as He often does, God provides the grace to walk into situations where you know you can't stand alone and He leads the way.

There was many a cold Friday night spent in the Dream Center van getting in and out to pass out food, bibles, warm drinks and sometimes even clothing. 

One particular night, we ended up at a old motor lodge like they had in the 50's.  There was a booth in the center where the clerk sat.  He was secluded by bulletproof glass and burglar bars....Tells ya where we were at!

We checked in with him, gave him some food and then proceeded to go and talk to people.  I don't remember how I came upon this young woman, but I still remember her and her husband very clearly.

The men on our team were praying for her husband to become stronger and healthier so that he could find work.  It seems they were living out of the motor lodge barely existing.

She was standing with the women in our team and I was asked to pray for her.  I don't remember what I said or how I prayed....Only God does.  What I do remember is this.....After the prayer, we all stood in a group waiting for her husband. 

The temperature that night was SO COLD!  It was the kind of chill that takes your breath away.  As I stood and waited, I continued to talk to her and realized that she had no gloves.   So, I offerred her my gloves.

Her first response....

"No, no...I can't take those.....They are yours!"

My response....

"No, please take them.  I would love for you to have them.  It's so cold!"

Her response.....

A sluggish "Okay"

When it was time to leave, she came over and handed me the gloves back.  I looked at her and told her they were hers to keep.  She said, "Oh...You don't want them back now because I am so dirty."

I reassured her that they were a gift and hugged her.  But I was so saddened by her words. Somewhere along the way, she bought into the belief that all her mistakes and/or poor choices had made her "dirty".  Too dirty to receive a gift.

In Psalm 139, God tells us that there is no where we can go and nothing we can do to leave his presence.  He is with us always and we were created by Him.  We are not a suprise to God. 

Moreover, we are never too dirty to enter into His presence.  Jesus paid the price for us.  By His blood we are cleansed and by His sacrifice we can know our Creator.

Father, I thank you for sending your only Son to save me and to bring me back to you.  I thank you that even in the times when I feel so destroyed by this world that I can always run into your chambers and seek your face.  

I thank you Father that I can once again do what I did as a small child....I can look up to my parent and say, "Hold you!  Hold you!!" 

Most of all, I thank you that you are always there to lift me up!

The Heart of Worship

Today an older but familiar Matt Redmond worship song has been playing through my mind over and over.....

"When the music fades

And all is stripped away

And I simply come

Longing just to bring

Something that's of worth

That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within

Through the ways things appear

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You

All about You, Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You

It's all about You Jesus"

- Matt Redman

The song was not meant to be a Christian anthem. It was simply how Matt Redman explained what happened to him during the time in which his church literally removed music from their services.

The pastor of the church asked the congregation, "When you come through the doors on Sunday, what are you bringing as your offering to God?" Was it about the experience of the service or was it really about coming into the Father's House and spending time worshipping Him?

The story is relevant to me because it begs the question, "What do you bring when you spend time with Him?"

Am I bringing Him my "list" of things that need to happen in my life or am I really taking that time to shut off the world and my mind so that I can be with Him?

Did you ever notice how noisy it gets in your head when you try to shut down? All the thoughts and questions and sounds....Every one of them intended to distract you.

In Gary Moon's book, "Falling for God, Saying Yes to His Extravagant Proposal", there are meditations, Bible studies and exercises at the end of each chapter. One of the meditations asks you to sit quietly, silence your mind and to release any attachments in life that distract you from spending time with Him.

When I did this exercise this morning, I immediately struggled with the deafening silence of my home. No TV, no computer, no Blackberry chirping, not even the NOISY refrigerator.....Just the sound of the snow melting outside.

The very first thing that came to my mind involved all the "things" that I have in my life that produce distraction and noise. When I think about life even 15 years ago....How did we exist without a cellphone, text messages and email accounts? How did we function without Twitter and Facebook and not knowing the coming and goings of all our friends and family? Confession of course, I do have a Facebook page and a Blackberry and I do love technology. :-) I think you get my point.

The second thing that came to my mind are all the things that I use to keep God at an arms length. You've heard the phrase, "stuffing your stuff"? God immediately brought to the front that I use poor eating habits and lack of exercise to stuff my emotions.

You see, part of the thawing process is dealing with emotions and during the thawing process, there is exposure. Exposure of things hidden and light shown into dark places. Exposure is not a bad thing, but it does cause us to look inward and see where we are not receiving the best that He has for us.

The other part of the meditation that Gary Moon shares is about receiving. Receiving from God, our provider, His comfort and just being quiet enough to be still and listen to what He may have to share with us, His children.

Ever been given a compliment? Most of us have....How do you respond? Do you say, "Thank You!"? Or, do you find yourself, like me, saying something negative to offset the compliment? Hmmmm....I find that it's easier to strive and hard for me to receive, in general.

I know in my heart though that God wants me and all of us to receive Him. He can't wait for us to come to Him and just spend time in His presence for it's in His presence and in the silence that He speaks to us and renews our hearts!

In the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), Jesus tells the story of the a man who has two sons. The younger son asks his father to give him his portion of the family estate as an early inheritance. Once received, the son promptly sets off on a long journey to a distant land and begins to waste his fortune on wild living. When the money runs out, a severe famine hits the land and the son finds himself in dire circumstances. He takes a job feeding pigs. He is so destitute that he even longs to eat the food assigned to the pigs.

The young man finally comes to his senses, remembering his father. In humility, he recognizes his foolishness, decides to return to his father and asks for forgiveness and mercy. He, at that point, was willing to be a hired hand on his father's land.

But you know what was so precious to me?

The father was watching and waiting for the sons return! He received his son upon his return with open arms of compassion and celebration.

The same is so true of our Father and us. When we choose to shut off the world and our minds and spend time fellow shipping with Him, He receives us and in that process, restores us. We were meant for Him and He for us.

He loved us so much that he restored relationship with us through His very own son, Jesus Christ. That whosoever would believe would have life and life everlasting. Such a precious sacrifice but, we are that precious to Him.

So, today, as I listen to the snow melt and the ground thaw, I am going to ask myself what I bring to Him and in that, receive what He has for me. Moreover, I will remember that it's already been done and that there is no need to strive to achieve things that are important here....It's not about the stuff.....It's about the journey that He's called me to and about my willingness to walk and at times be still so that I can follow Him.

Blessings,

Sheri

The Cleansing Snow

As I was driving home from work this past Friday, the snow was starting to fall and it was beautiful, even peaceful.

Sitting at a stoplight, I was reminded of a gospel song written by Robert Lowry called "Nothing But the Blood". The refrain is simple but powerful: "Oh! Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow, no other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus."

As I remembered that song, I started thinking about how the snow covers everything...Nothing is left uncovered. It falls gently and with purpose. Much like God's love and ultimately, God's grace.

The last several years of my life have been full of pain, change and at times submission. You might even call it a drought. In 2006, my life appeared to be "set". Everything that I thought I wanted was before me and moreover, I felt as if God had brought me through in so many amazing ways that nothing could change. I felt as if I'd laid everything down, walked away from my "life" and went forward to where I thought He'd called me.

Did He call me? Yes....I still believe He did. But, it was not for the reason I thought. God's plans are not ours and He had more in store for me. Change can often seem like being on the other end of a bungee cord and trust me....I have been on it.

In many ways, my heart has been underneath the snow for the last 4 years. All the sudden and painful changes caused it to function in crisis mode and then when the crisis was gone....it never returned to life. It became frozen underneath the snow and at best, only thawing out on occassion. After all, once frozen, there is no sensation and no need to change....But when the warmth begins to return, there is pain from the effects of the frostbite.

I realize I have lost my passions. I have laid things down that He never asked me to. My emotions have become numb and the only familiar feeling is that of exhaustion and withdrawal.

Worship has become painful because it was my precious connection to Him. The voice that I once had, is gone. Writing, which never used to be a problem, is like plowing in a hard and dry field. My mind is confused and at times disconnected. In the place of confidence and openness, confusion and fear have come in and taken up residence.

One of my favorite books is Hannah Hurnard's "Hinds' Feet on High Places". In the opening pages she says, "As Christians we know, in theory at least, that in the life of a child of God there are no second causes, that even the most unjust and cruel things, as well as all seemingly pointless and undeserved sufferings have been permitted by God as a glorious opportunity for us to react to them in such a way that our Lord and Savior is able to produce in us, little by little, His own lovely character."

She goes on to say, " The only way is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual conditions and tests permitted by God, by a continually repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of His as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whom we have to live and work, and in the things which happen to us. Every acceptance of His will becomes an altar of sacrifice and every surrender and abandonement of ourselves to His will is a means of furthering us on the way to the High Places to which He desires to bring every child of His while they are still living on earth."

The story, an allegory, is about Much Afraid and her journey to the High Places.

God has called me and all of us to Him and asked each of us to journey to His High Place for us. By just existing day to day, I have remained frozen and stagnant. I know that I can't do what I did 4 years ago.....Nothing fits anymore. There is a new "pattern" that has been set forth and as I am cleansed by His grace and by His blood, I will begin to learn the way to go.

Last weekend, God gave me a picture of a yellow flower blooming through concrete. I think He was trying to show me that although the concrete had covered up the roots, that Life still prevails. Even when it hurts so bad, Life prevails.

The challenge I face, is to allow God's warmth and grace to thaw my heart. As that happens, I also have to allow Him to heal the places that have become unkept and damaged by the frost. It will not be without pain, but I know that ultimately there is Life.

His love covers everything.